Keep Your Ego Small


I have observed that although our bodies get larger as we grow, we still remain children from inside. This is true for both women, who remain the same little girls who can cry for a whole day on a doll’s broken arm, and men, who remain the same little boys who want to run in the rain in their shorts. Everyone is a little sweet child of their parents. The fundamental needs always remain getting some love and some respect.

On the other hand, as we grow big, our egos grow big as well. This ego creates a right-and-wrong flag through which we start judging the actions and intentions of everyone around us. From outside we worship God. Inside the ego makes us worship ourselves and projects us as a shiny beacon of truth.

The joke is on none but us. It makes us forget that many supremely powerful kings, supremely athletic sportsmen, supremely rich tycoons and supremely talented people have lived before us on this earth. Each and every one of them is now under our feet and nobody even knows about most of them. The time irons us out as if we never even existed before. It is best, therefore, to grasp this reality and keep this ego small.

As an example, most of the time a person spends in life is with their spouse. There are a gazillion times when an argument can be avoided by a simple smile or just listening to them without preparing an equal response. However, the ego makes us react to even a simple change in their tone. Imagine many many years from now, when your spouse is dying, how small most of the issues in life would look like. At that time, we would be saying them goodbye with tears in our eyes and wishing that the inevitable would not happen. But today when they are alive in front of us, we fight and keep score. Life is too short for love; how do we find time and energy for petty conflicts?

This is also true for other relationships: family, friends and the social circle around us. Decades from now, when we are old and weak, we will remember that we had quite a few good laughs together. When we get into conflict with someone, we should always consider whether the issue is big enough to carry it into our graves. If not, and extremely very few actually are, then there is no need to carry it into our hearts today as well.

Many people are like a puddle of water. Forget about a large stone, if anyone even throws a pebble in that puddle, the mud gets splashed everywhere around them. We should try to become a lake. No matter how large a stone thrown into a lake, it goes quietly into the bottom of the lake; no splashes, no dirt, no big deal made!

It is usually said that grown ups cannot repair the ties to the same level after a fight or conflict. Some part of it always stays buried in their hearts. I think that this is not true. If a person realizes his mistake, opens his heart and sincerely shows the other how sorry he or she feels, there is room for mending the ties.

In conclusion, the primary objective for everyone should be to maximize their happiness. To achieve that, one must throw away the right-and-wrong flag and carry the flag of love and respect everywhere. Cells age, bones crack and skins wrinkle. All that remains is love.

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