Closing the Loop of Listening

In a previous article, I wrote about listening as a skill and how important it is in our daily communication with other people. Today I describe another great benefit of listening more: speaking less.

At times I have tried to convince people to my way of thinking and failed. I have wondered why my logical opinions do not get registered in their minds as coherently as they do in my mind. Then came the big realization: the more I speak, the less effective my words are.

And this is not because of their malice or even any twisted logic of mine. This is because of one of the universal phenomena that shapes our lives. People start ignoring whatever is in abundance. If this concept seems related to something you already know, you are right. This is another manifestation of supply and demand concept. When there is a large supply of something, the price goes down. On the other hand, scarcity creates attraction which everyone wants.

This implies that effective words are those which are spoken much less often. All parents know how true this is because children frequently act as deaf to their repeated orders, suggestions and advices.

In the end, a meaningful conversation closes the listening loop as follows.

  • We are speaking less to add more value to our words.
  • Listening calmly is directly related to a willingness to learn. This attitude gives rise to mutual respect.
  • Due to speaking less, we are listening more which improves our connection with the other person. The power of listening comes from the fact that when we are talking, we are sharing part of our soul and so we want it to go into a worthy container. Any home it finds gives rise to mutual attraction.
  • Consequently, they become more open to listening and understanding our thoughts. Both parties win.

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