A Good Hand

Being members of the same species, all humans have a similar physiological functioning. Due to this reason, we sometimes mistakenly assume that everyone is the same and general purpose techniques for self development are devised by amateurs (including me) that are supposed to work on everyone in the same way. While there is no harm in suggesting methods that one finds beneficial, professionals always take into account the unique psychology and history of the person they are dealing with. One should never neglect the role of genes in our cells and differentiate between the people who are dealt a good hand, an average hand and a particularly bad hand.

In her book No Worries: A Guide to Releasing Anxiety and Worry Using CBT, author Sarah Edelman describes this sad reality in a good style.


Some people’s lives are easy. Not because they are particularly privileged or clever, but because they have been blessed with a calm , easygoing nature. Like everyone, they experience difficulties, demands and pressures in their lives, but they are able to face them without unnecessary anguish. When problems arise they look for solutions, and in circumstances where there is nothing they can do, they adapt. are able to do this because they have a relaxed disposition and a flexible thinking style that enables them to adjust to stressful situations, without the additional burden of worry, rumination and overthinking. So, they rarely experience the distressing thoughts and intense bodily sensations that accompany high levels of anxiety.

To have such a disposition is a gift. In the card game of life, they have been dealt a good hand. Many of us are not so fortunate. A combination of nature and nurture have conspired to make us prone to anxiety, making our world feel unsafe. We may be overly focused on a myriad bad things that could happen to us or our loved ones, or we may zero in on specific threats, such as failure, disapproval, humiliation or not fitting in. We may be particularly anxious about unwanted thoughts that pop into our minds, or unwanted body sensations that signal the possibility of panic. We may be excessively apprehensive about potential illness and death, or we may fear being in places from which escape would be difficult …

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